When a child comes out: factors influencing the possible experience of a traumatic event in parents

Numerous studies have reported that parents express a feeling of confusion, loss, and mourning following the coming out of a child. Because most studies proposing this theory have used qualitative methods, this study investigates whether these findings may be corroborated through quantitative methodology. A sample of 195 parents completed an online questionnaire consisting of a socio-demographic section and several psychological scales such as ISLES, SMILES, TAS-20, and GRBS. The results of these first two tests, aimed at identifying the levels of integration of stressful experiences and social meaning-making in individuals who have recently suffered bereavement, were elaborated on and compared with the original studies, as well as the socio-demographic characteristics and the other test results of each participant. Considering the cases in which the coming out happened in the previous three years or less, no significant differences emerged from the original validations of ISLES and SMILES. Furthermore, some socio-demographic variables (e.g., age and political orientation of the participants, gender identity of the children, the presence of a previous suspicion) correlate significantly with the results. The TAS-20 results negatively correlate with ISLES and SMILES scores, while the GRBS scores only partially correlate with the participants’ SMILES scores. Such findings corroborate the theory that parents experience a period of confusion and loss in the years following their children coming out, not wholly dissimilarly from bereaved individuals. In addition, several characteristics emerged that might be predictive of these feelings. These findings may inspire future research to identify possible strategies to help parents of young LGBTQIA+ in this process.